I have no title for this post.

What is the usual reaction, if I may ask, when someone you know but haven't been in contact for quite some time suddenly depart?

I think the answer depends on more than one factor. The person he or she used to be, the type of relationship between the both of you, the environment you communicate in, the conversations that flow around, the memories the person has engraved upon you which has certainly created some sort of impact. And that's only surface assumptions, the connections and strings, more often than not, goes way back in time.

For me, the seconds and minutes after the announcement of the particular incident is spent hovering around the feelings of shock-ness and a hint of sadness. For this friend of mine, shock came a lot more stronger it's impact. It was a sentence, of all sentences, I had not expect hearing from my mom, of all people. "She passed away due to an accident."

I had swallowed the words, processed it with that semi-functional brain of mine as I was sleepy and tired at the time when this sentence, which felt as though they weight a ton, was hung in midair. Suddenly, the fragments of memories with her in it hit me, like how tsunami hit the shores of Indonesia, and everything begun replaying itself, just like a historical movie. Events after events, incidents after incidents, conversations after conversations of everything I remember of her somehow surfaced itself from my memory, some I don't even remember remembering.

She wasn't a really close friend, that I dare say, but if it weren't for her parents I would be waking up with tear stains all over my face from the night before, all which was the result of missing home too terribly on the first few days I reach Melbourne. They provided me with shelter, saved me from that dreadful motel who was ran by a chinese man that wants nothing more but profit, fed me, and counted me in on the chinese new year steamboat. Maybe they did it out of sympathy, out of obligation, or maybe they didn't care if they had cared for me at all but the fact that spoken out louder than anything else is, they did it, even though they didn't have to. Until this day I'm still thankful.

I guess news like these impacts you, be it the slightest bit, even if it's not someone you're close with. I'm still taking the shock right till this moment, some part of me still couldn't believe it, just like I didn't take Randy seriously the first time my eyes made it's way through the lines "Chee King passed away..." Shock has a way of dictating every part of your reaction, even more than doubt and grieve. But then it's not long-lasting, for once reality sinks in you are left with the full-frontal impact of what had taken place and how it's going to affect you for the rest of your life, even if just the littlest bit.

Life is short. Surely these 3 words is nothing foreign to anyone and everyone. But the real thing that's always put into question is, how many of us actually live up to it?? We KNOW, but even I myself can't say that I live each day with no regrets at all. Every little thing you passed, ignored, or forgot will accumulate to become a round ball of regret but sometimes, it's easier to choose to live on without caring. Easier in a way no?

I can see that I'm drifting off-topic again, a habit of mine whenever my fingers come in contact with the keyboard, with the aid of uncompleted sentences and possibly-related thoughts that goes about in my head.

To end this post is my deepest condolences to the family of Suzanne, I hope only the best for all of you.