Failing in life =(

Reasons why I should quit:

1. This job is taking up too much of my time; more than I have/willing to give.

I only come back to Malaysia for long-term stay once a year. All I had in mind was to finally have a real holiday(free from assignments!) and meet up with my long-missed friends. Obviously there's alot of catching up to do as I barely talk to them when I was in Melbourne. I was really looking forward to all that until I discovered that not only this job has robbed me of my days but almost entirely used-up all of my time. I get home by earliest by 6.30 pm IF I'm allowed to leave at 5, but the thing is most people don't even leave before 6 and some stays till 7ish.

Comon, it's not like I have better things to do in the office and if I do go home by 6 I'll probably reach home by 8 and miss dinner. Even my mom, a workaholic herself said this is too much after all I'm just an intern. Besides, I feel bad that she had to wait for me for 1 1/2 hours after work everyday.

The other day I stayed till 6.30 and took the public transport to Kelana Jaya LRT Station. From there my mum picked me up (her work place is near by) and we went home together. By the time I get home, it's almost 9 can you believe that? The moment I saw already-cold leftover dishes on the table first thing I thought was "Is this what I want to see everyday?"

Heck I can't even eat one meal with my family in a day.


2. The pay is barely able to cover the cost.

With the money for food and transportation fee taken out from the final pay, what am I left with? Enough said.


3. They gave me a task which I have ZERO knowledge of and expect me to do it all by myself.

I am supposed to be a graphic design intern. Graphic designers handle 2d stuff like prints and illustrations, not make websites. Layout design isn't as bad because it's just Photoshop and Illustrator, but Flash and coding and creating an interactive narrative?? There is a reason I did not choose Multimedia Design as my major darling.

True enough, I can learn. But chucking a whole website to me and expecting me to create something using a program which I have yet master even the basic functions... isn't that abit too much to handle? You just don't give beginners a task professionals handle.


4. As mentioned above, the standard of the task is equivalent to what a graduate or professional does for living.

I am just an intern, not even a temporary worker. It's not like they don't know I've only completed my first year of uni and only had surface contact with my subjects.

Maybe they've really overestimated me??


5. I am turning into one of those zombie-office-worker.

and I refuse to be one! This is more of a personal reason and not a rational one but still... I don't want to turn into those working people that dreads going to work in the morning and comes back with a sour or worn-out face after work. Like in the LRT, everyone just looked so... tired, stressed out, unfriendly. The usual liveliness and cheerfulness during the weekends of going shopping or chillaxing is completely replaced by a scene of many overworked souls just wanting to get home as quick as possible.


Last but not least,

6. This whole thing totally clashes with how I had planned my stay in Malaysia which after all the never ending uni work is just as simple as to have a holiday!

The one and only reason which motivated me to start looking for a part-time job is the need for money and to be honest I was disappointed when I heard that they only pay RM300 for internships. I didn't even want to take the job at first but because people there seems nice and I was told that I would be learning alot I had convinced myself that it's going to do me good. At that point the pay didn't even matter as I was more focused on the exposure I get and stuff I'll learn and what do you know, first day I was asked to do data-entry then second day to make an entire website(which of course can't be done in a day), nothing like what I was told earlier about being able to do magazine layouts.


Reasons why I should not quit:

1. People here are generally, nice. Other than that fella that is so particular about that one hour I missed in the morning (because I come in the office by 10 and not 9 as I have to follow my cousin, which my interviewer has approved earlier in the phone) and insisted that I stay till earliest 6 (normal office hour ends at 5) to compensate it, all of the other colleagues were nice to me.

2. I feel like I've never ever done anything worth mentioning in life. Quiting now is only going to show how incapable I am in being an adult and carrying the responsible as one. I suppose I can put up with all this shit but there's always this voice in my head that snaps me back with what's the point? and is it worth it?



Well....???